Ever since I first saw a Kia Soul trundling down the road, purporting to be just ‘a car,’ with a normal looking person at the wheel, I was enamoured. It’s a fantastic looking thing. God knows where the stylist got his ideas, but wherever it is, I want to visit.

Problem with making such good first impressions though, is that when you get down to actually meeting your new hero, it might be appalling and a total let-down. I had such concerns when Kia sent me a Soul Burner to drive recently.

Luckily, said concerns were expunged quite quickly. Indeed, I’ll now list the 5 things I like about it the very most.

5. The shape

It’s a big square looking thing, but I just adore it. Nothing else besides perhaps the Nissan Cube is quite so freakishly wonderful. It’s aggressive, bulky, and looks a bit like it should be sporting camouflage and transporting armed men. It’s just brilliant.

4. The interior

OK, it’s not made from granite and chrome plated platinum, but despite the fairly inexpensive materials, it looks as good as the outside does. And so it should. The Burner model has a red dashboard, a red steering boss, and various other red bits, all of which feel nice and look fabulous, contrasting against the blackness of the paintwork. The transparent gear-knob is a clever touch, as are the red LEDs in the speaker surrounds. Which brings me on to…

3. The audio system

It’s made or excellence. 7 speakers and a sub make the bassy yet crisp sound, and the iPod interface is simple to use and displays all of the useful track information. Steering wheel controls make things easier when on the go.

2. The suspension

Kia say it was set up for UK roads, and I believe them. Despite its tallness and fairly smooth ride, body roll is minimal in the Soul, which allows you to drive with confidence on all kinds of roads, potholed or otherwise. Don’t expect infinite grip, though, the Soul isn’t a sports car.

1. The drive

Driving the Soul is a bit like playing an xBox game with a driving wheel. It’s really, really easy. No effort is required to operate any pedals, change gear or steer. You can glide along the road in comfort, and all the while, you can look like a badass.

In fact, there’s very little to fault with the Soul. But I have to be fair, so I struggled and struggled until, after much effort, I came up with 5 improvements Kia could make to the next generation model.

5. A tail-gun.

The Soul’s square design means that it has a flat bottom, behind which white vans and other tailgaters can get very, very close. To rectify this, Kia could fit a .30 calibre machine gun, which would be controlled from the rear seats. That way, people who dared to get too close could be taught the error of their ways by your nan/ daughter/ friend, or whoever else was sat in the back.

4. Caterpillar tracks

It looks like a military vehicle already, so why not finish it off with a set of tank tracks? As well as looking brilliant, they’d be fantastic for the winter, and for running over errant Rover Metros.

3. A Perkins CV-12 engine

If I had one niggle with the Soul, it’d be that the 1.6-litre diesel was a little bit small. It was also far too refined to be fitted to a military vehicle, so a suggested swap would be the Perkins CV-12, which produces 1,200hp and has a displacement of just over 26-litres. It’s far more suitable.

2. Snowplough

Coupled with caterpillar tracks, a snowplough would give the Soul perfect winter car credentials, with the added bonus of allowing you to clear away double parked cars. You’d also be able to charge your neighbours to clear their driveways of snow or other obstacles.

1. Radar guided missiles

Why wouldn’t anyone want radar guided missiles on their car?  They’d be perfect for getting rid of slow traffic. The radar which guides the missiles could also be used to inform the driver of approaching weather systems, which is just an added bonus, and one that hooks into the plough and caterpillar tracks.

And so there we have it. The Soul is brilliant, but with just a few tweaks, it could be perfect…

John Slavin

Summer time usually involves those annoyingly awkward garden parties. You know the sort, drab company to talk to and an iced wheelie bin full of mediocre beer. This garden party looks a lot more interesting.

If there is one car culture that we don’t get over here in Blighty it is the Hispanic lowriding scene. We all know what a lowrider looks like but we have no real sense of the culture as a whole.

Luckily Mr Machete, Danny Trejo, gives an interesting insight into the true essence of what being a lowrider entails. From the video below you will see that the days of filling the boot of cars with sandbags to create the slammed effect are long gone. Modern lowriders are works of passionate motoring art that are ‘built not bought’.

Mixing open wheel race cars and public roads means that superhuman car control is needed. These guys have it in spades.

This once again proves that homologation special road cars are the best cars ever made.

Now here is a decent set of  family values. Buy a Merc W123, strap a massive turbo to the engine and proceed to get it as sideways as possible.

Now we would hate to say we told you so, but we kind of did. If you recall back to when we first heard about internet Gymkhana star Ken Block moving into the WRC, we questioned his motives. We were worried that he would simply use his driving skills to promote the various companies he owns or represents. Well the way Gymkhana 3 is shaping up it looks like we were right.

Below is part one of three of Block’s Gymkhana 3 footage and it may take you by surprise as their is very little driving in it. Instead we are left with “a fresh beat, dope lyrics, and the excessive use of baby-oil-lathered ladies all in a blatant but cleverly crafted marketing scheme to sell products” – well at least he is honest about it.

Apparently there is actually some driving in part 2. So until then, get down and dirty with the hip hop beat and let your eyes get lost in three minutes of commercial shit.

While Citroen have been battering us to death with their ‘Anti-Retro’ campaign for the new DS3, Fiat has been shifting their 500 Abarth by the truck-load. It would seem its combination of raw power and good looks, garnished with retro charm is what the youth of Britain want. So the French are having another go at charming the young Brits away from the yellow and red scorpion by placing them firmly into the blue driving seat of another iconic name – Gordini.

And there’s more. Inside, the Twingo Gordini gets a unique blue and black leather interior, climate control, MP3-connectivity, automatic lights and wipers, and a blue colour-topped steering wheel with two white stripes. Naff? No, just ‘different’.

But young hot hatch lovers won’t mind if they’ve never heard of Gordini as long as the Twingo is fast – that’s all that matters.  Unfortunately, however, in complete contrast with Gordini’s heritage, the Twingo Gordini is no different to the Twingo RenaultSport 133 on which it is based.

You still get the same rev-happy, 8.7 seconds to 60, 40 mpg 133 bhp, 1.6 litre engine that you get in the standard, stripped-out Twingo 133 Cup – which is no bad thing; the 133 Cup is one of the rawest and most visceral little hot hatchbacks money can buy. But the Gordini version should have more. Not necessarily more power, but more charm than the rambunctious 133 Cup.

What it does have more of than the 133 Cup though is nerve. At £14,600 it may well have a leather interior and white air-vent surrounds that look as though they’ve come from Claire’s Accessories, but the Gordini Twingo is £2500 more expensive than the 133 Cup. And that’s not to mention Fiat asking for £1100 less for its Abarth 500 – which is faster, better-looking, and has, arguably, a more renowned badge – and the Renault Clio 200 Cup being only £300 more than the Gordini Twingo.

You would have to be an absolute Gordini fanatic to appreciate this car – someone who remembers the old Renault-Gordinis and therefore someone who is not young. For that reason, if you are over-50, you’d better get to your local Renault dealer as quick as you can to get one – there are only 200 coming to the UK.

The Ferrari 458 Italia has to be cursed, this is the tenth Ferrari 458 to be written off and it is not a pretty site.

This week it is Bonneville Speedweek, the largest meet at the Bonneville Saltflats which attracts speedfreaks from around the world. There is one aim and one aim only, to see how fast they can push their machines. We are not talking fast, we are talking seriously fast.