August 9th, 2010

Appearances can be deceiving

If you saw me out and about you’d not think ‘Car hack!’ at all. You’d probably think nothing, or you’d think something mean and rude. My jeans look more like a tattoo than a garment and my hair is far too long. I also sport a shard of metal in my lip and a couple of ink splodges on my skin. I don’t even know if it looks good or what it’s supposed to achieve, it’s just happened, and it seems to work well. I quite like it…

All this nonsense is in the name of image, and much like a Chelsea boot or a vibrantly coloured iPod Nano, a car should be an accessory to match that image. There are some endlessly cool cars out there right now; there’s the Fiat 500, which is great but just a little too retro for me, and the Citroen DS3, which is almost faultless and on my list, but perhaps too squeaky clean… I like something that looks as though it might shoot you with its hidden weaponry rather than hug you. Something like the Kia Soul, with its army truckness. Indeed, I’ve been aching to drive the Soul for ages, so I’m now impatiently waiting for one to arrive in August for a proper test.

But recently another contender for a car I would actually consider buying is being tested by other journalists, and I envy them very much indeed. That car is the Nissan Juke; a small, angular, squat crossover. It looks like the fast attack vehicle of an alien invasion force. I can imagine it facing off against DPVs and M1 Abrams in the desert, firing green bolts of plasma. It’s really, really cool, and not in a sissy way. I know that if anyone saw it in the street they’d point, especially if it was red.

Now I could go onto tech specs, engines, target market, etc. But I’m not going to because I don’t think any of those things matter with a car like this. People will see it, like the way it looks, and go to buy it. Simple, and the fact it starts at just under £13k means it’s not too far out of grasp either. Well it is for me, but that’s because I’m a pauper.

I’d tell you what it’s like to drive, but I haven’t driven it yet. Perhaps I’ll get to do that soon, perhaps not, but that’s life!

John Slavin